This Event is Currently Full

Unfortunately, I read these words off the Birthright NEXT website this morning. I confess that while I still don't know what it means for me yet, I am getting a bit scared. Again those "what-ifs" took up residence inside my brain. What if they reject me for the second year in a row? What if I got in, but they forgot to tell me and I missed a deadline? What if they just ignore me?

I don't understand how these people work. How can you run a business where no one knows what's going on? These people are playing with my mind. Every morning for the last two months, while still groggy and wiping the sleep from my eyes, I would squint at my computer in hopes of a "Congratulations!" email sitting triumphantly in my inbox. Alas, t'was to no avail. 

This morning, I decided to check their website. "This event is currently full." Seriously? That better mean that you're just not accepting applications, not that you've already accepted this year's applicants, and this is how you're letting me know. I am trying not to panic. I want to email them again, but I've sent them numerous emails over the past few weeks, trying to get a positive answer out of them. I am afraid that I will only make them angry if I keep contacting them.

All I want to do is better myself as a Jew and as a human being. I've been studying the Holocaust since I knew how to read. Now I want to take that studying to an academic level, and possibly begin to flesh out a dissertation. The Holocaust survivors are dying, and I want to hear their stories before they leave this world for good. Please, Birthright, I need this.